To mitigate potential conflicts, make sure that both parents are promptly notified about all relevant activities. Their main objective is making you suffer even if that means making your children suffer, or harming them. I’m not going to go deep into narcissism or narcissistic tendencies here, so if you want to learn more about that, listen to previous episodes I devoted to dealing with a narcissist and gaslighting. Additionally, a Guardian ad Litem may be assigned to represent the children’s legal rights and protect their best interests. If this is something you and your ex can manage to do, it is an advisable move to better your situation.

Although there might still be some animosity, you created these beautiful beings together, so you need to figure out some way to work together in not just the kids’ best interests, but your own as well. If you’ve found yourself in a situation where you have to co-parent with a toxic ex, there are certain details and bits of information of which you might want to be cognizant. Focus On The Children’s Well-Being: Remind yourself of the importance of prioritizing your children’s emotional well-being. When you’re co-parenting with someone toxic, the best thing to do is try and stay focused on your children rather than the conflict you are experiencing with your ex. The ability to seek help when these challenges arise is ultimately what contributes to getting through hard times.For instance, when discussing holidays, use statements such as, “[Your child] can’t come to Thanksgiving because they will be with [the other parent]. This is highly toxic not only because it puts down the other parent in the child’s eyes but because it also makes the child feel as if something is wrong with them as the other parent is a part of the child,” says Valencia. Communicate Respectfully: Keep your communication with your ex-spouse civil and respectful, especially in the presence of the children.

However, this should only be pursued if the ex-partner is open to communicating in healthy ways, as co-parenting counseling can be re-traumatizing for the healthy parent. As soon as I Started the book, I was able to apply some of the strategies and this made a world of a difference. There are many benefits of self-care, as it can help reduce stress, increase focus, and improve physical well-being. Relationship coaches Dana and Todd Mitchem report seeing a number of people who say that their exes continue to send sexually charged texts and inappropriate messages, seemingly as a way of wooing them back.It gets worst with toxic ex, never feel sorry for them, never give in or up and always remember if you react imagine how that will impact your child.