I love the way the story starts in the introduction. This book hooked me up, and I never knew there was a book like this. It is a highly recommended book for all, not just single people like me but everyone who wants to find themselves. Read more These were the thoughts sprinting through my mind as panic set in. But I had to tell myself I was choosing it. It was a decision that I don’t usually make, and I had to believe I would come out the other side better because of it. That’s what breaking a pattern looks like. Not just for me, but for all the clients I would go on to help. That was the fuel for me, the 92 octane. So I did it. And I am not going to lie. It was hard. Like, addiction recovery hard. But I took it a day at a time, like they say in the meetings. And slowly but surely, it got easier. Not only did it get easier, I became different. Things started shifting on the inside. I started to grow. Many times we get caught up in our romantic relationships, so much so that we lose ourselves morphing into who we think noir partner wants us to be. But the author makes a good point in the fact that that other person, even at their best, is only 50% of the relationship. Knowing who you are and creating your own unique and beautiful life before merging with another is essential to a successful relationship so that you both can show up fully and authentically.

Well, that’s a lot to work on. I know. And it’s easier to read something than to actually implement it into action. But hopefully, it gives you some encouragement, sense of direction so you don’t feel like you’re swimming in the vast ocean. It’s time to reframe the narrative of being single and embrace what I learned when I finally chose to be alone: There’s only one or two things I kind of disagreed with, but everything else was solid advice and it was an easy, and at times a poetic read. Very humanizing and relatable. There’s more to life than loving someone. But being single can feel like a death sentence. Why does being alone = being lonely And why do we stop working on ourselves when we’re in a relationship

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There’s more to life than loving someone. But being single can feel like a death sentence. Why does being alone = being lonely? And why do we stop working on ourselves when we’re in a relationship?

The motivation to write this book came from coaching thousands of people in the last decade who experienced severe depression because they were single. Many of them had successful careers. Many of them had amazing friends. But because they had no one to kiss in the morning and do nothing with on a Friday night, they saw themselves as failures. They internalized the idea of not having a partner as being defective. Most had been in nothing but shitty, toxic, lopsided relationships, and yet being single was worse. They figured something was wrong with them, and they came to me to find out what that was. A lot of them were in their thirties or forties, and they felt like time was running out. They felt the sand in the hourglass draining as they lost more and more hope. No one really wants to “date themselves.” But all of us, at some point, need to be single—on purpose. After a series of failed relationships and a painful divorce, John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He knew that to move forward, he had to build a relationship with himself, to embark on a journey from alone and lonely to alone and fulfilled. I have mixed feelings about this book. There is some solid advice and insight related to working through codependency, prioritizing a relationship with yourself, and cultivating intentional, connecting, non-romantic relationships. However, there was an underlying contradictory message that if you take these actions, you will attract a healthier love. If you do want to understand better ways to connect with yourself, and want to be comfortable being single, I recommend. He is absolutely correct that the richest soil for personal growth comes when you can focus completely on yourself and not lose yourself in someone else. I like that the the author understands the stigma around being single as well. Lumia is an immersive life coach certification for impact-driven people to launch a meaningful coaching business.Plot Summary - No one really wants to “date themselves.” But all of us, at some point, need to be single—on purpose. After a series of failed relationships and a painful divorce, John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He knew that to move forward, he had to build a relationship with himself, to embark on a journey from alone and lonely to alone and fulfilled. I was in a nine-year relationship with someone verbally abusive. Then another one that was a nightmare, well, not in the beginning, but you know... After my divorce, I asked myself what I needed. I went to the bench a lot. I ate out at diners. I leased a roadster convertible and revved the shit out of it through the canyons blasting obnoxious music and wearing no shirt. And didn’t care. I took myself to the movies. Went on long walks. Pour myself into my passions. Started writing again. I needed to treat myself well. Better. I needed to do things for myself and not feel guilty about them. I also pushed my body harder than I ever have before. I needed to feel alive. I needed to like who I was.

If you’re single and you want to make it about you again. Or maybe for the first time. The time is now. What I like most about Kim's message in this book is to change what we control in the face of singlehood (or relationships) and that is ourselves. We need to stop hoping for these past traumas, voids and holes in our selves to be filled or patched up by the company of others and find ways to fill them by ourself for ourself. Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS “self-help in a shot glass” approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self. Again, I gave it 2 stars, not 1. I do think there is value in here for you if you've never done work on your relationship with yourself and or you have had issues in your relationships.Lindsay interviews Dalila Jusic-LaBerge, LMFT and founder of Be Here and Now Relationship Academy and Secure Love Creator Framework, who provides relationship coaching for high achieving women and overfunctioning love seekers who struggle because they often wind up in situationships with partners that want to “see where it’s going” instead of working towards committed relationships. Dalila shares some of her top advice for helping women embody the identity of a secure love creator, someone who embraces personal power in relationships, knowing that love is in them and that they can create healthy relationships as they choose. Okay, let’s put a bookmark there. Tell me about some of your other previous relationships. Would you like a coffee?

Was leaning toward a 5 but a personal pet peeve, I am not looking for music recommendations from a book. There is an entire chapter with an annotated playlist and then he said Broken Social Science instead of Scene and I was even more annoyed. To be fair I’m having a bad day. Journal questions that don’t feel like “journaling,” focusing on brief, direct, and honest answers to help you know yourself I just finished this one and it’s so awesome for ANYONE because it’s really all about finding yourself and not people-pleasing. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you need to find yourself and be true to yourself first 😝Our safe tree also includes our tribe. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or extrovert, the people you engage with will encourage you and sharpen you. Or bring you down and stunt your growth. It makes all the difference. I’ve tried life alone. I’ve surrounded myself with people who were negative and draining. It doesn’t work. And if one of those people is the person you’re sharing a bed with, there needs to be a real honest conversation. Or many. And if nothing changes, you need to be with someone else. Your potential and everything you can offer the world isn’t even about you.